Thursday, August 28, 2014


I have those weekly, always feel so great, thinking i know it all.
Haha life is such a joke.
The  last one: i realized it was me who suffered most and i know now.
I had a version of that one twenty some years ago sitting on a hill with Hetty Willemier.

But this one is the one!

And of course it is not me suffering most, i am especially blessed in life.
But i always have this excessive need of sleep. I think i got it! I will not sleep no more! Oh my god can you imagine the good life i will be living, no more wonderful cool sheets, finding a warm body in between them, oh glory, i give it all up for more energy.  I am talking nonsense of course.
The point is, i have found why i love falling in love, no more falling in love is necessary , i can just open my heart by myself, like everybody always does ( meaning you all knew that , while i suffered in silence)

And it all has to do with being aware.... that I AM the observer.. Now this moment, my fingers type  thoughts that I draw to the foreground of  my mind,  I am behind it all picking and choosing, loving or not, closing or opening, and the grass grows, and the music plays.

I can stop all the judgement in a single moment.

Glory, glory all is glory,
"wake up little Suzy
wake up!"

There is no suffering, none

Ha, and to know that when the wave crashes and washes over me, submerged in green water, not knowing if i ever breath again, which, don't worry, i will .

I am for real.