Friday, December 4, 2015

bound by freedom

of being free
to feel resistance fully
not being chased by moment
after moment, after moment
moments in which i can hide
nowhere to go
nothing to do
following lines
lines taking shape
it is so heavy
the lines, the shapes, the moments
I can not ever finish it
my angel self falls apart
because the next moment already overtook the previous
my heart a thousand pieces of glass
floating in outer space
I will never recover them
the pressure on the chest
the space to see them
as shining stars
black holes
light years apart
I sit here with my cat
she is surprisingly understanding
it hurts
these shards of glass
trying to be contained
and i am not talking loss
it is the soft 
early evening light
there is no way to hold onto that
the sound of scraping metal against ice
no movement
the pain old old 
very old
the stillness
only moving through the ticking of time
easy, easing into it
when a shard of glass
cuts through the skin
there really is
only an opening up
the blood
to flow freely
where ever it wants to go
not contained by one body
or even two
a moment in time
the red against the crystal light
the dark spruce trees
they that weigh heavy on my shoulders
the lightness of it all when lifted